Convincing Myself

The goal is to do it

I love running in winter. I even do the most of my running during winter months. And where I live, we get real winters, cold and long. Winters with a lot of snow but also winters with lots of sunshine and blue bird days.

Last winter I ran 15 times in November, 16 times in December, 15 times in January, 16 times in February, and 15 times in March. 77 times in total.

This winter so far I ran 10 times in November and 5 times in December. Well, I've been busy with mountain climbing for the last couple of months so I slowed down.

Running in winter is like a long game of convincing someone to do something that will hurt at first but it will definitely turn into something that feels great. But they don't know about the "pleasant" part. It is an exploration exercise, again connected with pain and pleasure. How cold is it outside? How much new snow did we get last night? How icy is it? How windy? Which hat should I wear? Which gloves should I wear? Do I need my shoes with spikes or my waterproof shoes?

There are so many parameters to a pleasant run.. But then, if I know everything, nothing is interesting anymore.

Therefore, many times I just get out of the house wearing only basics and I just go. I get exposed to elements. And that's beautiful.

Sometimes I change my route on the fly. If there was too much snow and my route is taking me uphill, especially if there is a long climb, I choose something easier. In the past I would plow my way through the deep snow but lately my hip flexors complain about it.

I also change my route if it gets too warm or when there is new snow during last seven days. Running on a little bit of new snow, on a warm day, when temparature is in range between -4 C and + 2 C is similar to running through quick sand. Two steps forward, one step back. Not even spikes help. I call it "suffering" (really, it is not, but it hurts, and I want less pain).

Cold world that is not cold, but just it is

When it is really cold in my world, and for me that is under -20 C, it is only hard before I get outside as I am procrastinating, and during first 10 minutes until I warm up. It is too hard to get out from warm house to this polar world. When I start running my face is cold as I never wear a face mask, and my eyes get wet. So I am struggling at the beginning. At the same time, when it is really cold there are no problems with sandy snow, cold wind - well, it is already too cold anyway - and the best part, there is nobody out there. The truth is that usually there is nobody out there anyway - but when it is - 25 C, then I could be on Mars and it would be same in terms of people.

During my winter runs I enjoy experiencing elements, cold, brisk air, falling snow, bright sunshine, cold wind - and also it is great to listen to my steps on the ice and snow, as I already mentioned. 

Crunchy sound produced by my feet's interaction with the ice and snow - so rhythmic and powerful, it gives me assurance about my own power.

By moving like this, using only my own power, I feel closer to beings that we were once before in the past. By being exposed to the elements, I feel again closer to our ancestors who were free of "progress", but rich with understanding and connection with nature.

Running during winter months makes me feel human again. It gives me assurance that the world is indeed beautiful, when not endangered by some humans. Running in the winter helps me understand myself and it makes me free and understood.